Quick Update

I'm sorry I have been gone for so long my readers!!!! I have been dealing with some personal problems that I wont bother you with. I WILL start updating frequently soon. Expect reviews for The Darkness 2, Mass Effect 3, and Resident Evil Revelations in the coming months! Also, I will be introducing a new PC hardware review segment where I'll even do unboxing videos. Expect it all to start sometime soon.

Until then....

KEEP ON GAMING.

Game Dissector's stance on SOPA/PIPA

I'm not gonna give a big explanation why.

It's pretty easy to figure out why we don't support SOPA/PIPA.

Snap Judgment Review: AMY

Amy is a new Survival horror game made by Vectorcell. The premise, according to wikipedia is" players escort the strange 8-year old autistic title character Amy as they try to get her out of a city overrun with wild creatures and enemies. The player controls Lana, the woman escorting Amy and protecting her as the two attempt to escape their disease-ridden town. They encounter monsters and the military, among other foes, in their attempt to escape.". The game has been bashed by critics and gamers within the first day of it's release. IGN's Colin Moriarty gave AMY a 2/10 and Gameinformer's Jeff Cooke gave it a 3/10. While both reviewers state that the game is awful, I felt like I had to give it a chance. I've played games that I thought were amazing, but were originally panned by reviewers *cough*BRINK*cough. So earlier today, I downloaded it on the Xbox Live Marketplace. First off, the game isn't very pretty. Actually, it's downright ugly. Sure the game is a downloadable, but ever since games like Trine 2 and many other awesome downloadable titles, that really shouldn't be an excuse anymore. The next thing you'll notice is the awful lag and screen tearing. I'm serious. Every three seconds the game will literally freeze during EVERY cutscene. There will also be some really bad screen tearing most of the time. The next thing you'll notice is the god awful voice acting. Lana's voice is... okay at best. Everybody else sounds like Vectorcell hired people off the street to the voices! Now then, onto the gameplay. It is literally some of the worst gameplay of all time. When you watch someone play it, it looks like the older Resident Evil and Silent Hill games. Cool, right? NO. GOD NO. NO. [WARNING: THE NEXT PART OF THIS IS A RANT] THE GODDAMN GAME LAGS EVERY MOVE YOU MAKE! SERIOUSLY! YOU TAKE ONE GODDAMN STEP AND THE GAME FREEZES FOR ABOUT A SECOND AND A HALF! THAT MAY NOT SOUND LIKE MUCH, BUT IT IS WHEN YOU'RE THE ONE PLAYING! THE COMBAT? DON'T F#CKING GET ME STARTED ON THE GOD AWFUL COMBAT! THE GAME LAGS EVEN WORSE! ONCE AGAIN, EVERY MOVE YOU MAKE, THE GAME FREAKS THE F#CK OUT! I'M SERIOUS! THE GAME'S CAMERA GOES NUTS AND IT FREEZES FOR ABOUT 2 SECONDS! EVERY. TIME. YOU. MOVE. [END RANT] Sorry about that. Anyway, after the awful cinematics, awful voice acting, awful graphics, and awful gameplay, what did I do? I turned it off. That's it. I turned it off. It is literally, the worst game I have ever played. Not since Tony Hawk's Project 8 have I hated a game so much. I don't even want to talk about it any more.

Graphics - 4/10

Awful. Looks like they threw up the Unreal Engine 3.

Sound - 2/10

Really bad voice acting. Okay sound effects. Soundtrack sounds like a game from the 90's. In a bad way.

Gameplay - 0/10

The worst gameplay ever. EVER!

Please... Please my dear devoted readers... don't buy it. Spare yourself.

Spend that money on another Downloadable game.

I just have one question to ask you Vectorcell.

Game Dissector Review: Bit Trip Runner

Bit Trip Runner can be summed up three words. Awesome. Fun. Hard. This game just oozes coolness. It has a neat two dimensional yet almost three dimensional old school graphics with popping vibrant colors. It also has one of the most awesome original soundtracks I've heard in a long time. The gameplay? Well, the gameplay is weird yet perfect. It only consists of about one button. What does that button do? JUMP! The more obstacles you jump over, the more the music turns into a loud, incredible rhythm. The game is also hard. Really, really hard. I thought Super Meat Boy (An excellent game by the way) was the hardest indie game I've played. Nope. This one definitely takes the cake. If you're someone who enjoys and old-school, challenging side scroller, BUY THIS GAME.

Graphics - 9/10

Beautiful, vibrant colors everywhere!

Sound - 10/10

Like I said earlier, this game has one of the catchiest, fun original soundtracks I've ever heard in a video game.

Gameplay 8/10

Fun, addictive gameplay that is hard and isn't for everyone.

FINAL SCORE - 8.5 out of 10

Bit Trip Runner recieves the Game Dissector Seal of Approval!